Milking the Goodbyes

In about five hours when the sun comes up I'll have to experience the realization I've been avoiding. I've been saying my goodbyes for weeks and enjoying all the goodness that comes with friends and family telling you how much you mean to them. Yeah, it's been pretty darn affirming. Now the tough part comes. Actually leave those good people behind. It's starting to sink in, as you can tell because ideally i'd be packed and asleep hours ago.

So before I start posting the newfindings of Berkley, MI and the good people there I'll take one moment to remember what life was like when i was milking the goodbyes:

3 separate going away parties for parishioners, family, and friends

Besides the people, the food was the better part of the goodbye get togethers: ribs, white fish, burgers and custard, chipotle, homemade pizza, bacon and eggs over a campfire (just to name a few).

Extra special notes and cards, hugs, phone calls and emails. Gratitude gratitude gratitude for such loving people in my life. Can't have a bad day when you're being told all the time how much you're going to be missed and why.

Packing can be Entertaining:

Do i take an extra bottle of contact solution? One less thing to bring or one less thing to buy on a limited stipend?

No matter how I look at it HALF of my suitcase is shoes: required black and brown dress shoes plus running shoes and winter boots and sandals reminds me more a woman's closet than my rapidly filling suitcase.

Flash from the past compiling old CDs onto my Slacker MP3 player and prepare for the future by downloading a trio of songs I'm working on playing on the guitar (Blackbird, Julia and Here Comes the Sun).

Time for New Beginnings:

I think this is my first road trip with just me and my parents. I hope I get to relive some of those out West road trips with mom resting her feet out the window and dad listening in on the CB radio to all the semi-truck drivers. I won't be fighting with Marc, Katie or Leah over the Gameboy or whose turn it is to lay down in the third seat of the suburban, but i'll be sure to have that family road trip crink in my neck and seat belt mark.

And so it begins!

All for the Greater Glory of God (AMDG)

Following a Trail of Brownie Crumbs

August is a month full of family celebrations. This means mom's baking her wonder brownies overtime. Secret hiding places and notes marked,"SAVE" would usually work for others. I, it seems, have no will power in the face of these chocolate sensations. Thus whenever mom or dad needs to find me, they usually follow the trail of brownie crumbs.

Over the last weeks there has been a trail of sweet joy and sad moments too. Here is one of each:


SWEET JOY: A Nephew is Born:

Noah David Mescher decided it was time to begin life. And the Mescher name lives on. What a blessing it was to hear the joy in my brother's voice as he recounted the experience. And what loving parents Marc and Anne will be para este Noé.

SAD DAY: i'm not too naive to believe that everyone is in love with my decision, priesthood, or the church (and in this case, all three) but boy i gotta admit i was caught off guard when at a friends' birthday party a woman took me aside and very politely asked if she could ask a few questions about my decision.

"Of course!" I've been excitedly responding these days. I was ready for the usual, 'when ya leaving', 'how'd you decide', and 'how do you feel?'

"Have you ever had sex with a woman before?"

(nervous cough/hesitation)

"Um, I'm not really comfortable answering that."

"Any interest in little children? You gay?"

Well, all in all it the conversation passed pretty quickly and harmlessly. But it woke me up out from the illusion that even though i've passed 8 hours of psychological testing, 7 interviews thoroughly discussing every topic immaginable, y mucho mucho mas, i can't escape being associated with the good, the bad, and the ugly i'm signing up for with the Jesuits.

After talking with my dad and a few others i think this week's experience is what a wise man, Henri Nouwen described as life. One of my favorite of his excerpts reads:

Our life is a short time in expectation, a time in which sadness and joy kiss each other at every moment. There is a quality of sadness that pervades all the moments of our life. It seems that there is no such thing as clear-cut pure joy, but that even in the most happy moments of our existence we sense a tinge of sadness. In every satisfaction, there is an awareness of its limitations. In every success, there is the fear of jealousy. Behind every smile, there is a tear. In every embrace, there is loneliness. In every friendship, distance. And in all forms of light, there is the knowledge of surrounding darkness.

Joy and sadness are as close to each other as the splendid colored leaves of a New England fall to the soberness of the barren trees. When you touch the hand of a returning friend, you already know that he will have to leave you again. When you are moved by the quiet vastness of a sun-covered ocean, you miss the friend who cannot see the same. Joy and sadness are born at the same time, both arising from such deep places in your heart that you can't find words to capture your complex emotions.

But this intimate experience in which every bit of life is touched by a bit of death can point us beyond the limits of our existence. It can do so by making us look forward in expectation to the day when our hearts will be filled with perfect joy, a joy no one shall take away from us.

okay good people---much love--and much sweetness (thanks mom for the brownies),
adam