Following a Trail of Brownie Crumbs

August is a month full of family celebrations. This means mom's baking her wonder brownies overtime. Secret hiding places and notes marked,"SAVE" would usually work for others. I, it seems, have no will power in the face of these chocolate sensations. Thus whenever mom or dad needs to find me, they usually follow the trail of brownie crumbs.

Over the last weeks there has been a trail of sweet joy and sad moments too. Here is one of each:


SWEET JOY: A Nephew is Born:

Noah David Mescher decided it was time to begin life. And the Mescher name lives on. What a blessing it was to hear the joy in my brother's voice as he recounted the experience. And what loving parents Marc and Anne will be para este Noé.

SAD DAY: i'm not too naive to believe that everyone is in love with my decision, priesthood, or the church (and in this case, all three) but boy i gotta admit i was caught off guard when at a friends' birthday party a woman took me aside and very politely asked if she could ask a few questions about my decision.

"Of course!" I've been excitedly responding these days. I was ready for the usual, 'when ya leaving', 'how'd you decide', and 'how do you feel?'

"Have you ever had sex with a woman before?"

(nervous cough/hesitation)

"Um, I'm not really comfortable answering that."

"Any interest in little children? You gay?"

Well, all in all it the conversation passed pretty quickly and harmlessly. But it woke me up out from the illusion that even though i've passed 8 hours of psychological testing, 7 interviews thoroughly discussing every topic immaginable, y mucho mucho mas, i can't escape being associated with the good, the bad, and the ugly i'm signing up for with the Jesuits.

After talking with my dad and a few others i think this week's experience is what a wise man, Henri Nouwen described as life. One of my favorite of his excerpts reads:

Our life is a short time in expectation, a time in which sadness and joy kiss each other at every moment. There is a quality of sadness that pervades all the moments of our life. It seems that there is no such thing as clear-cut pure joy, but that even in the most happy moments of our existence we sense a tinge of sadness. In every satisfaction, there is an awareness of its limitations. In every success, there is the fear of jealousy. Behind every smile, there is a tear. In every embrace, there is loneliness. In every friendship, distance. And in all forms of light, there is the knowledge of surrounding darkness.

Joy and sadness are as close to each other as the splendid colored leaves of a New England fall to the soberness of the barren trees. When you touch the hand of a returning friend, you already know that he will have to leave you again. When you are moved by the quiet vastness of a sun-covered ocean, you miss the friend who cannot see the same. Joy and sadness are born at the same time, both arising from such deep places in your heart that you can't find words to capture your complex emotions.

But this intimate experience in which every bit of life is touched by a bit of death can point us beyond the limits of our existence. It can do so by making us look forward in expectation to the day when our hearts will be filled with perfect joy, a joy no one shall take away from us.

okay good people---much love--and much sweetness (thanks mom for the brownies),
adam